Three Years Today

     Why is it that work places don’t think you have a family to get to until your married? Then, when you finally do get a significant other you’re not considered a family until you have children to account for. When that happens, what will it be next? We won’t be considered a family till we have grand children.

     Today Wes and I celebrate our third anniversary. However, that is a hard quest since he is currently 389 miles away in Augusta. I do understand that sometimes things are impossible to get around but four weeks ago when Wes was down there and they began to start talking about when to schedule this little meeting they have to have he specifically told them that it was his anniversary and asked to push it back or move it forward at least one day. They douche bag who’s running this show then said, “Oh well, it won’t be the last one you’ll miss”. I’m normally a good sport about these things. I don’t celebrate Valentines day or expect a big deal on the anniversary of our first time meeting, kiss, date, time meeting the parents, engagement, or any other stupid significant thing dumb girls make a big deal about. This, however, pisses me off just a tad. I’m not mad at Wes. He can’t help his company doesn’t support TRUE monogamy. They enjoy it much more when people are screwing the help or making a joke out of the idea of marriage by sleeping around and then sending out save the date & wedding invites. They actually help out this type of behavior by comp-ting the hotel rendezvous bill as a work trip of or sending the two adulterous out on job site together. Even the old farts who have been married for a lifetime just simply have to ask for a hot piece of ass to work under them and *POOF*…wish granted. It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.

     This is not the only double standard. When Wes and I got married three years ago today, he had just been moved to Nashville to work in the office. Wes isn’t very good at playing the political game or knowing the coming things to do. Because of this, instead of inviting the whole office like most would do, Wes wanted to only invite people he had actually worked with and was personal with. He didn’t want people to feel as if they had to buy us a present because they were invited or the opposite and think that we only invited them because we wanted a present. Through the years we just assumed that is why there was no office pool taken to get us a group present. Just as well with us. We didn’t get married because of monetary value anyway. Then, We thought they only pooled for people who actually worked in the office. That theory was trashed later when Wes was pooled for money for a guy on job site he had maybe met once and being the nice guy he, Wes never thought twice before reaching into his pocket. This is all fine and dandy, but this past week we gathered for John Morton’s wedding in Savannah and do you think there was any pool going around for it…NO! Wes even said he through out the idea and nothing was said about it. Granted, Wes isn’t exactly the most persistent. He knows times are hard right now, but we couldn’t even get most people to get off their ass an join us to celebrate here in Nashville for the guy. This is someone who’s been in the company years before Wes even started and most would agree that we never expected John to get married, so this act is nothing short of a miracle. Thank God for Jessica is all I have to say. It's these same office politics that has this company fighting to keep one persons' job and absolutely no problem firing the other. I get it...politics are in every work force but, what if you got to where you were based only on your work ethic. Wouldn't it be a better place. God forbid you have to work for what you get or actually work at all. People are so stuck on having someone else there to bail them out, there's no need to strive for excellence anymore. That statement alone sums up how America got in the situation it's in at this moment!

     This company has never put family first in my eyes. True once a year for Christmas they get us all together and celebrate how patient the wives are for putting up with them sending our husbands off and blah blah blah! But, what about the rest of the time when you send our boys off all week only to come home for the weekends to have dinner with the company where wives are NOT invited and then they have training all day Saturday followed by drinks and another round of solo dinner. Just because a good bit of the construction business is filled with drunken, adulterous bastards does not by any means signify that they entire industry is made up of them. Some actually like their wives and enjoy the time they spend together and look forward to moments and traditions with or without children involved. In other words…suck it R. J. Griffin. You are not about family so stop pretending you are. There are only dollar signs in your eyes!!! At some point, those who know me had to see this coming.

If it's all gonna happen sometime...then why not now?

*SIDE NOTE* sorry in advance Wes but you did marry me knowing that I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut and tonight instead of having awesome anniversary sexy time I’m blogging on my computer like a LLLLOOOOOSSSSSSSEEERRRR and it sucks a big one! I know it’s not your fault and I still love you more than anything but so that I wouldn’t get mad at you for something you can’t help, I needed to get this off my chest to whoever is out there listening! No one you work with know reads this damn thing anyway!

It takes two to make a thing go right!

I like to ride my bicycle; I like to ride my bike!

   This is the song I hear over and over whenever Wes is on a bike or sees a bike or thinks about biking or just has it stuck in his head. I love my husband. He makes me smile, but sometimes I get to make him smile.

   We decided to take in Savannah on bike yesterday. It’s a small area so it was really the best way to see it all. I should have known better when we walked around the same block twice and still couldn’t find the bike shop only to have it located directly beside the place we grabbed lunch at. There was an awesome old Asian hippy behind the desk that basically told us that we could keep our bike till whenever and go wherever as long as we call her when we were done. She wrote her cell phone number on the back of an order form and ripped it off. Not a big deal, but when we first walked into the store she was on the phone trying to put in that very same order so I’m sure later it’s going to matter that there’s a chunk missing from it. Calling this crazy lady ‘High’ would be an understatement.

   So I’m super excited, I don’t think I’ve been on a bicycle since my sister and I tried to ride the Tin Roof prized beach cruisers to the Waffle House up the street from our home. That excursion did not turn out so well and this one didn’t start out so well. I think I got about a block and a half away from the store when the ENTIRE left peddle fell off in the middle of the street. I had to chunk my bike on the side and run after it before it was ran over. Wes is oblivious to the whole think since his idea of riding around town is to reincarnate speed racer. Finally he hear my shrieks and laughter as I dodge the cars holding my peddle over my head like Rocky when he reached the top of the stairs. Stupid tourist…I know what they’re all thinking. Sadly I was laughing too much to remember to take a picture and before I know it Wes has taken the gimp bike back to the store to swap it for a functioning one. Apparently the stoner Asian had forgotten to add a nut the last time she adjusted the pedals.

Wes returning with my new bike

   Everything else from there went smoothly. Savannah is one kick ass town. I always talk about the bubble I’m in back home, but if I lived here…wow I don’t think I’d ever leave the historic district. We rode up and down every street here and even some more and more times. Wes finds it hilarious to ride around in giant circles or squares because he knows that I’ll just follow behind without thinking. He does this in the car too. Last weekend he rode around the roundabout in downtown Franklin like four times with Ashley and I following for at least 2 ½ times before wising up and moving on.

Following in a giant Circle

Stopping since I realized I just went in a huge circle like a retard because Wes was doing it!

   Biking here is seriously the best way to go. Cars are practically useless because everything is walking distance and parking is hard to come by since it’s all parallel on the street. They even have those pedal taxis. I don’t think I could ever be comfortable in one of those, just sitting back relaxing while some skinny hippy is pedaling his ass off to get me to somewhere that probably would have been only a ten minute walk on my own.

   Right now I’m at a coffee shop on a corner. Wes and I found it yesterday and it’s my new FAVORITE place to people watch. I want one in Nashville now! Wes is out golfing and I don’t want to see anything without him so I’m just killing time checking email and catching up on stupid stuff till he’s done. It’s so pretty out so I’m outside enjoying the company of the passer-byers. I’m super lucky today because they bike taxi brigade has decided to congregate in the square next to me. They are some real characters. One guy was parked and then out of no where another comes around the corner hooting and hollering pumping is fist Arsenio Hall style excited to see the other was working today. “Awesome…didn’t know you were working today. Let’s just post up here and pass the hours. Maybe if we’re deep in convo no one will want up to ride their fat asses around!” Talk about real commitment to the job. In that one statement, he has confirmed my decision to opt out of the bike taxi. They have just added a new member to the slacker club. This guy comes with friends on bikes of their own. The hippy movement is alive in these here parts!

The only picture I could get without them realizing I was taking it. After a while, they all definitely knew I was paying attention to everything they were saying! I was a serious STALKER!

   One of the guys keeps saying “hello” to every one who passes on a bike. In return they say “hello”, then he proceeds to say “goodbye”, followed by them saying “goodbye” and so forth. I was beginning to think this was code for something between the bicycle gang but then they all burst into laughter and the guy says, “It works every time!” Why that’s so funny I don’t know but he did decide to include me in on it on his way into the shop for coffee. I guess I’ve been initiated into the elusive bicycle brigade now. I wonder what my gang code name is…

If it's all gonna happen sometime...then why not now?

Crying Rat

   Today I had a mini heart attach. I was at work, bored as usual, talking to my sister on the phone. In between conversation with Whitney, I kept hearing these scratching, almost tinkling noises.  I seriously thought something was in the ceiling tiles. Sara Beth (my Boss/Owner) has told me about critters making their way into the roof sometimes, so I thought maybe this was one of those times.

   Later, I forgot about it and got busy doing something else. All was normal in the world of Giggles. Then, while studying my GMAT book I started hearing it again. This time it was louder and sounded like it was coming right at me. This is where I played the role of the dumb blonde, big boob, horror film girl and decided to investigate the disturbing noise. At that time, I got off my stool and took half a step before that fury little thing popped out from the side of a shelf.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh HHHHHOOoooollllllyyyyy UUUUUHHHHHHhhhhh SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhiiiiiitttttttttt”

   I could have won a gold medal in the 100-yard dash, maybe even the hurdles, because I totally cleared the counter and stool without even trying and was out the door in .5 seconds. However, once out there I realized I had no options. I had no phone, no keys, and no idea what step to take now that there’s a “GIANT RAT” loose in my store. Even if I wanted to go home I couldn’t lock up the store or drive my car since the keys were in the store with the mutant attack rat, trained in ninja moves.

   IDEA>>>>So I went next door to Spells Dancewear and borrowed Rachel’s phone. Luckily I have memorized Sara Beth cell phone number, but unluckily she didn’t answer. Rachel actually had her home number, but she didn’t answer it either. While waiting for Sara Beth to call back, Rachel and I are on stakeout waiting for the next “SITEING”. That’s when we saw it….

   A chunky, brown, ball of…feathers? Are you kidding me? I could still feel my heart beating outside my chest and it was all over a bird! Something was wrong with it because it wasn’t flying, only walking and sort of hopping around. There were a lot of similarities as far as coloring between my bird and a would-be rat, but still I was super embarrassed by how I acted. Thank God I didn’t have any customers in the store.

   It took a while to shoo it out of the store, since I wouldn’t touch it. It might not have a tail but it was still able to bite me or beak me, which was just as scary as a rat bite at that point. Finally, with Rachel’s help, the bird became one with nature again. We watched it hop away and saw it was going to be ok before returning to work. It tried to go into Fleet Feet, then that was the last of it. What a way to begin the day. So much excitement before lunchtime, the rest of the day was a breeze! Now I guess I know, when it concerns wildlife inside Giggles…

If it’s all gonna happen sometime…then why not now?

Fashion Dilemma

   I always get excited when I’m watching something and a character is wearing something I own. It makes me think I made a great decision fashion-wise. It actually happens all the time. Lily from How I Met Your Mom, JJ from Criminal Minds, Kimber from Nip/Tuck, Quinn from Glee, and so forth. All is fine with that because these are all “ADULT” shows, but then last night I saw MY Tracy Reese sweater on Grace from The Secret Life of an American Teenager.

Video of Grace in MY SWEATER!

   I get carded often and many people who come into my store on Saturdays think I’m a high schooler with an after school job. Maybe, by watching that trash on TV, I’ve figured out why. Where does that leave me? I don’t feel like I wear the clothing of a 15 year old. I mean Tracy Reese makes some real old lady things sometimes. Am I supposed to buy things from Chico’s now? Dilemma, dilemma…

   I realize that TV is not real life. Real 15 year olds can’t always afford designer duds, but the people who style these characters are paid to get the period time right so the style is supposed to fit with what a real high schooler would wear. Damn you Secret Life, you have now ruined my sweater the same way Britney Spears ruined my favorite shirt in college. Well I guess...

If it's all gonna happen sometime...then why not now?

We the Free

   Is there a brand out there that just totally defines your style and who you are and want to be as a person? Most people know exactly which label get’s me excited: Free People. I love just about anything this brand offers. The exclusivity of it makes the line even more appealing. Many stores may carry some, but you cannot buy all items of the line in one place. My biggest concern is the price and for that reason I seriously stalk many, many places. I’m lucky to live in a city where I can find it quite freely.

   I pride myself on my fashion knowledge, but the fashion world changes too fast to be on top of it all the time. I have just recently learned something amazing. I guess because Free People is a label not so much a designer, I’ve never taken a real interest in the story behind it. Today I came across its’ origins. It started in the 70’s in Philadelphia. That’s not the interesting part, what is interesting is that the same man went on to start the Urban Outfitters Chain. Free people used to be Urban’s private label division, and where I first fell in love with it. OK, so that’s pretty awesome alone. Linking two of my favorite stores together, I feel as if they actually know me. Then it just gets crazy. The same guy goes on to open Anthropologie.

   Shut up and pick me off the floor. I know recently I’ve been constantly complaining about my job. I believe now I’ve found where I should be. Too bad I don’t live in Pennsylvania, nor do I ever want to. Although if Wes’ ever needs to be on job site out that way, I will be packing up and moving with him. It’s great to find where you belong, not so great to realize you’ll never be there. The future's unclear…

If it’s all gonna happen sometime…then why not now?

Make It Again...Better!

“You do an awfully good impression of yourself.”

  The opening sentence of every book begins with one artfully composed line that outlines the theme of the book. I have been going through a Bret Easton Ellis phase since college when I read Rules of Attraction. This was before they made the movie. He has the most interesting books. So far I’ve also read Less Than Zero and American Psycho. I have just recently started his ‘biography’ Lunar Park. The word biography is definitely used loosely because when reading, it’s hard to believe what’s real and what’s created for dramatic effect.

  Forever, Rules of Attraction has been my favorite book. I’ve read and reread it many times, as well as, passed it onto many friends. I’ve owned four different copies because of loaning it out and never getting it returned. Plus it comes in paperback so it gets a little worn. It’s the best story of misplaced love. For those who have never read it, the book skips back and forth much like the characters that skip from one bed to another. Each time you read it, the story changes a little. Bret Easton Ellis is a genius. So I thought, at least.  Then my heart is broken…he had actually written it on an 8 week crystal-meth binge. So partly he’s a genius, and partly it was the drugs writing. That didn’t change my opinion on the book.

  DON’T WATCH HIS MOVIES! They will ruin you of the want to read any of his books. Less Than Zero had the makings of a great movie starring Andrew McCarthy and Robert Downey Jr. However, it’s not even remotely like the book except for the fact that Robert Downey Jr.’s character turns to prostitution for drugs. Rules of Attraction was a nightmare. The cast was terrible. My sister can’t even read it without thinking of James Van Der Beek. The movie was way out of order, which is pretty hard to accomplish since the book is all over the place. American Psycho is the most accurate, but anyone who’s read the book will let you know that the best parts were left out. No one who read it could ever forget the part with the rat. They concentrated on Bateman’s obsession with music and left out his fashion obsession, and barely touched on the fact that everyone, besides his intimate circle, kept confusing him for other people. No one knew who he was half the time. So after discussing it with my sister, Whitney and I decided to take a poll and petition a remake. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a movie. If they can make a show on Showtime based on the book The Secret Life of a Call Girl (a book I’ve also read), then American Psycho should be a breeze; especially with the huge success of shows like Dexter and Criminal Minds. So first let’s put together a cast. If you have suggestions on who should play whom….it’s your time to get proactive! Then join the remake American Psycho group on facebook!

Major characters

▪ Patrick Bateman - The central character and narrator.

▪ Evelyn Williams - Bateman's fiancée.

▪ Timothy Price - Bateman's best friend and colleague. Later appears as a teenager in Ellis' novel The Informers.

▪ Paul Owen - Bateman's colleague who is later murdered by Bateman.

▪ Jean - Bateman's secretary, who is in love with him.

▪ Luis Carruthers - Gay co-worker who is in love with Bateman, something that disgusts him.

▪ Courtney Lawrence - Luis' girlfriend who is having an affair with Bateman.

▪ Craig McDermott - Bateman's colleague, part of a social foursome alongside Bateman, Timothy Price and David Van Patten

▪ David Van Patten - Bateman's colleague, also part of Bateman's main social group.

Minor characters

▪ Christie — A prostitute, employed and abused sexually on multiple occasions by Bateman.

▪ Marcus Halberstam — Bateman's colleague; Paul Owen repeatedly mistakes Bateman for Marcus.

▪ Donald Kimball — Private detective hired to investigate Paul Owen's disappearance.

▪ Alison Poole — Sexually assaulted by Bateman, principal character in the novel Story of My Life by Jay McInerney (who is a friend of Ellis's); she also reappears as a main character in Ellis's later novel Glamorama, where she is involved with the lead character, Victor Ward.

▪ Sean Bateman — younger brother of Patrick Bateman and also the lead character of Rules of Attraction.

▪ Paul Denton — friend of Paul Owen, who also appears in The Rules of Attraction where he is possibly romantically involved with Patrick's brother Sean.

▪ Christopher Armstrong — Bateman's colleague at Pierce & Pierce.

▪ Bethany - An old girlfriend of Patrick's whom, after a date, he murders in a particularly heinous manner.

▪ Alex Tang - The video store receptionist.

  So here’s what I’m thinking as far as characters in the remake. They have to be attractive 20-somethings. That’s not hard to find…the problem lies in finding hot 20-something actors who can actually act well. If a remake is going to happen it has to completely out do the first. With a cast including Christian Bale, Josh Lucas, Chloe Sevigny, Reese Witherspoon, Jared Leto, Willem Dafoe, and more, the cast of the remake needs to be outstanding; something along the line of the recently released Valentine’s Day. So once again…

Major characters

▪ Patrick Bateman - 

Zac Efron

▪ Evelyn Williams - 

Emma Watson

▪ Timothy Price - 

Shia Lebeouf / Chace Crawford

▪ Paul Owen - 

Jared Padalecki

▪ Jean - 

Leighton Meester

▪ Luis Carruthers - 

Adam Brody / David Henrie

▪ Courtney Lawrence - 

Allison Michalka / Jessica Stroup

▪ Craig McDermott - 

Chace Crawford / Shaun Sipos

▪ David Van Patten - 

Shia Lebeouf / Jensen Ackles

So I’m definitely running out of ideas so HELP! I realize this is very unlikely to ever happen, but it’s still fun to pretend! You never know…

If it’s all gonna happen sometime…then why not now?

New Generation

I believe my mid-life crisis is officially over. It lasted a long time huh! Ashley and I went to Auburn this past weekend and it totally made me realize how good I have it. Many things have changed but too much has remained the same. Throughout the trip, I consistently noticed things to be grateful for.

The first night we went to Supper Club where US Band was playing. I looked forward to this for quite a while. 80’s bands in Auburn were the shit when I attended. Man did I feel sorry for that band. Not only was the majority of the audience my mom’s age, but the other half barely new the words to any of the songs. Those guys try way too hard. Maybe they have always been that pathetic…it was my first time seeing them sober. They did get better towards the end of the night, however my alcohol level got higher too. I’m pretty sure that the lead singer is the only original member left. He should take that as a sign and retire. It was pretty fun making fun of them for a while. I thought they couldn’t get any more pitiable and then…they played Kings of Leon. Those poor eye lined, muscle shirt wearing, tight jeaned, longhaired, old men refuse to die. They know their audience is changing so they belt out a substandard version of Need Somebody and just about everyone laughed. As if it weren’t terrible on its own, the silly guitarist decided to lunge out and head bang throughout the entire song. If anyone is going through a mid-life crisis, it’s the crew of US Band.

One of the first things my sister asked when I talked to her after the weekend was: “Did any young boys hit on you?” and no they didn’t, which was just fine with me. I didn’t go there to make myself feel better by the number of times I got hit on. Many changes have been made to Auburn, but one thing that may never change is the desperate girls who search every corner of the bar looking for some guy to bring home in order to feel better about themselves. I was always the girl who swore to never get married until I was thirty, so I never relate to those who can’t stay single without freaking out. I’ve never valued myself strictly based on the attention of guys, but I’m definitely lucky to have Wes. I know that I do NOT want to be out in the dating world EVER again.

I was lucky to bunk with Sara, one of Ashley’s friends. She was extremely hospitable. However, I can’t say the same about her roommates. We met them, they said Hi, then not another word until we were leaving when we ran into one who commented “Heading out all ready?’ I’ve always been a person who could talk to a wall if needed. We both found them very odd. Sara wasn’t happy with how unfriendly her roommates were either. What’s worst, they hardly spoke to her all weekend. Supposedly, that’s their normal behavior. It’s not fair to say all of her roommates where that way. Amy did go out with us the first night and drove us home after Sara wanted to turn in early. Once again, I’m lucky to have Wes. He’s definitely the best roommate I’ve ever had. Granted, I can only compare him to either my parents or my sister.

It was both awesome and sad at the differences in Auburn. On one hand campus now has an amazing new coliseum, luxurious student center, and new sorority dorms that make me want to redo my sorority experience (well I can’t go quite that far). Then there’s the other hand…Bodegas is now called The Bank Vault, Highlands turned into a disco and then went out of business, we can no longer get cheap Long Island Ice Teas at Botchers, and the Strutin’ Duck has moved into the Ole’ Auburn Alehouse location. All the good hole in the wall bars are metro. Even Mamma G’s has traded in its ripped up pool table and barely functioning toilet for more tables and even more franchised locations. Everything’s going corporate or is frat-boyed up. I wish that time had stood still there but you can stop progress, so until later…

If it’s all gonna happen sometime…then why not now?