Too late to turn back...

I have started a new project. I'm actually pretty excited about it since it'll definitely be occupying my time probably up until the due date of July 16th. It's no small task and it won't make a difference in the world but I hope that it makes a difference in my friend Justyne.


First I need to say that David's Bridal really sucks. They have a bunch of people working there who have no actual idea of fit or function, they're just told to sell, sell, sell. They tack on one useless accessory after another and when they take your measurements almost always make you get buy a bigger size than needed so that they can alter it and charge even more money. It makes me super annoyed for people. Sure they advertise $99 gown sale but that doesn't include alterations, veil, etc. At some point peace of mind must be better than cheap dresses. I realize that most brides are on a budget but there's better quality on the Internet, or if your simple white dresses at Nordstroms.


Soooo back to the point. Justyne has never been a girly girl. Sure I've only known her for 3-4 years, but that's not my impression of her. She lives on a farm down in Franklin wear she plays with goats and cows and chickens and horses and all the normal farm life. I've only seen her in baby heels maybe twice and rarely in a skirt/dress and very little makeup always. So I was not surprised when she told me she bought her wedding dress when she has a break in between classes one day. She wasn't really emotionally invested in it like most brides, but that's not really her. She also got talked into a veil and a separate blusher (both are so stiff they can practically stand on their own), alterations (of course), and because they said it'd be an extra $300+ or so to hem it, she bought high heels. This is her dress.

All was said and done...so she though. When she got the dress back from alterations she could not fasten it around her neck or zip it up. When she asked about it the people at Davids Bridal told her she must have gained weight. IN HER NECK? IN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS? I have to admit when I got her dress I was curious if I could fit it around my neck and it was choking me. I bet Kahlua could wear it with ease. Anyway, instead of admitting any mistake they simply told her to lose weight or to cough up some more money for more alterations to let it out. Needless to say she wasn't impressed and instead of going another round she decided to sell it all on Craigslist. (They wouldn't take back anything, not the unworn shoes or still in package veil...NOTHING.) She had one girl interested but it didn't work out. Then she told me about it.


I've done things for people in the past. I've spent over 40 hours hand beading over 300 inches of english netting for a veil in a wedding I was in this past April. I re-inveted my bridesmaid dress as well. I can do the basic hem or take something in but I haven't worked from scratch since college. I'm up for the challenge and super excited about it. I would never do this for just anyone. I know that Justyne really doesn't care as long as she has something to wear. So yesterday I accomplished deconstruction. There's definitely no turning back now. In a little over two months I am going to transform her off the rack dress into a grecian inspired dress fit for a farm wedding.

But at this moment the dress look more like this....
Soon, hopefully I'll have more to show. I plan on spending today putting it back together! For now my purpose is to make Justyne happy and put her wedding back on track. No matter what happens in the future, it's definitely too late to turn back now!


If it's gonna happen sometime...Then why not now!

CHANGE.

Are you still planning on going back to school?


Nine simple words right? No! My boss asked me this today and for some unexplained reason I proceeded to answer her by balling my eyes out. I feel like such a loser, but I just couldn't keep it in. I tried to stop and talk but nothing was happening but tears. Maybe it's all the tragedy I've seen lately with the flood that no one notices but the volunteer state, or the oil explosion where only the wildlife it's affecting is discussed and not the many men who died in the fire, or perhaps the five tornadoes that touched down simultaneously in Oklahoma that has me in a funk. I've got to the point where I can't watch the national news without becoming extremely hostile. To say that the way the media and government has treated middle Tennessee after this disaster is BULL SHIT would be the understatement of the century. I guess I'll have to apologize to whoever I offend before hand, but if this would have happened in Memphis with all the color west of us then Obama would have been all about it. Hell, even Michelle Obama flew over to check on Haiti hours after the earthquake. NEWS TO WASHINGTON>>> Nashville is right here in your backyard! I feel stupid complaining about our silly little leak after seeing the Katrina-like damage in my neighboring areas. I'm not naive, but you'd think someone in a power position would have some type of a conscience, somewhere. The big problem getting acknowledgement from where I'm sitting is the fact that Tennesseans have come together to lend a hand to each other instead of sitting on our asses and waiting for a helping hand from our government. The few looters who have no sole were immediately arrested and put into a make-shift jail seeing as most of ours had at least a foot of water in them. The city was down to half-water capacity and with water moving toward the only working water plant, people came together to sandbag and save a little piece of what was left of Nashville hope. Thank you to Karl Dean for having a plan and working so well to help Nashville feel like everything was under control in the midst of complete chaos. I really could continue ranting about this for some time but I'm exhausted. I can't keep telling other Tennesseans the exact same thing they already know. It doesn't help to wallow in the injustice. Besides, that is not why I started writing this post to begin with.


So why did I cry? I want to know more than anyone. I started this blog feeling so lost. I got over things...sort of. I started studying for my GMAT and planned to go back to school. My Mom has always said I should do something with math because it comes easy so I figured why not accounting. I was content with the idea of becoming a CPA or something. I wasn't ecstatic about it, but when was the last time you heard of someone being in love with their job? I would tell people that my plans were to go into accounting and I practically got the same look or expression from everyone (excluding family). "I don't really see you as an accountant" is what read all over the faces of everyone. This past week it started hitting me. I don't see myself as an accountant either. Sitting behind a desk day after day punching numbers sounds like suicide to me. I'm the type of person who needs some type of creative outlet and wearing suits or 'business casual' and staring at numbers all the time definitely limits that. Why should I waste my time and money going back for another 'stupid' degree that will probably in another five years put me in the same predicament I'm currently in.


I started my college career with a plan. I was going to be an amazing fashion designer one way or another. I planned to study in Europe and work my way up in New York. My mom got married early and when you talk to her you pick up on the fact that she's missed a lot in her life because of it. Sure she'll tell you that she wouldn't change a thing, but then again she has to because two girls came out of it. I'm sure that if she had it all to do all over again...things would be different. Which is why I planned not to marry till I was set in my career. Obviously, plans change. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband. He is the only thing in my life that is actually what I want. He's a saint and totally understands and sympathizes with all my crazy. People search their whole lives for something like Wes and I have that. Being with him makes my life worth while. Sadly, I can't be with Wes constantly.


They big question...what do I do now? I need a career. I need something to make me feel full-filled. I want to be able to tell people what I do and feel proud of it. I don't want to be working and going absolutely NOWHERE! I don't want to work part time anymore. I feel bad working only 20 hours at the shop and then not getting the cleaning, laundry, cooking, shopping all finished because I simply don't want to (I'd rather have a good excuse:). I DON'T WANT TO BE A HOUSEWIFE! I know that some people look forward to nothing more but that's not me. I don't judge those who are house wife's or stay at home Mom's, but I just really wish I could be self sufficient on my own and not have to depend on anyone else to pay my bills. I want to be able to shop and not think Wes' might get annoyed by my spending because I'll make my own money too. I'm open to ideas. So if anyone's listening... please... hhhhhhheeeeeellllllllpppppppp!!!!!!! It's definitely time for change.


If it's all gonna happen sometime...Then why not now?


P.S. After posting I learned that FEMA came through already. That's a huge step and I'm happy that just because people aren't talking about it doesn't mean that they aren't doing anything about it. I have also ruled out a career in writing seeing as I suck at it :) Right Jimbo! I'll try to get better at that as well! 

Drowning in Nashville

10-12 inches. That is the amount that was predicted to have fallen on us here in Nashville. I worked yesterday and surprisingly I actually got one sale. Wes went on a simple errand and returned 3 ½ hours later because of all the road closures and stopped traffic. 

A birthday dinner was cancelled, as well as, a bachelor party. Everyone is home bound. Wes and I curled up on the couch and watched The Hurt Locker and drank bourbon and coke. We checked in on the news every once and a while to catch up on the chaos going on. I-24 is completely shut down since Mill Creek is swollen overflowing onto I-24 submerging 70 cars and even causing a drowning. As of now, these storms have caused five deaths so although some of these pictures and videos are humorous it's not a laughing matter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2VPjgpsITo&feature=related

Then this morning it hit home...

Wes and I woke up to a plop...plop...plop... It sounding almost like a clicking. I actually thought the fan had got out of whack and was clicking during rotation. Wes was the one who first saw the bubble in the ceiling. It spans the length of our new addition.(Here I thought we were finally through with construction)

See the line going the length of our bedroom. This bucket is our new permanent fixture until the contractor shows tomorrow.

The rain is so bad that it's coming in through our chimney (even though the flew is closed)and is starting to puddle up on the hearth. Water is truly the worst enemy. One steady small drip can eventually cause major damage. 

Seeing this I decided to check out the rest of our property and there wasn't much other damage but I have a feeling I won't have to water any of my plants for a long time since most are underwater. There's a river now running through the front yard. Your able to walk to our front door if you either can ski or are Jesus and walk on water. We will definitely need to treat the front porch when the is all over since the gutters (even though they were cleaned out last week) are completely over flowing and leaving puddles all over the porch as well as at the base of my roses.

Luckily the back yard is not so terrible. Our neighbors don't have the same luck. The small creek that flows throughout our street has quadrupled in size and now creates a neighborhood pool on each side of us.

Hopefully the rain will stop soon, although the weather channel tells me other wise. We're lucky at least we didn't have a tornado rip through. Knock on wood. As far as the water leakage in our bedroom goes... I'm glad that we found it now where it's still under contractual warrenty, but I wish it was done right the first time. I guess we'll be moving out of our master bedroom for a while real soon...

If it's all gonna happen sometime...

Then why not now?