Why you don't get hired!

What Not To Do When Job Hunting

Rule # 1: Don’t walk store to store with your girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, mother, aunt, etc. If you are grown up enough to have the responsibility of a job, then you are grown up enough to go by yourself to apply for it.

Rule # 2: Dress nicely. Come on people, this is the first impression you’re making. Don’t come after soccer practice all sweating and gross wearing baggy clothes. If you aren’t going to look presentable just merely asking if we’re hiring then no way in hell are we supposed to think you’ll show up to work looking presentable. And NO, wearing a school uniform does not count as being presentable. How about this…after school, go home, shower, put on a little make-up (little being key) and dress similar to what you would wear to church (I know for some people that doesn’t explain much but if you’re a true southerner you dress up for church as a sign of respect for GOD). Looking tidy shows confidence, as well as responsibility. Remember you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Rule # 3: Don’t chew gum. If you come in to talk to me about a job and you’re smacking away on gum I’ll say ‘We’re staffed!’ before you can even get out ‘Are you hiring?’ You’re pretty screwed if you have nasty long fake nail also.

Rule # 4: How about focusing on one thing at a time. Don’t come in my store to semi-shop and point out how expensive everything is then turn around and ask to work here. One lady had the nerve to ask if people actually pay these prices and then she wanted an application. WE’RE A SPECIALTY BOUTIQUE HERE PEOPLE…THIS ISN’T WALMART! Do people really think we’d still be in business for four years if no one paid full price? The same goes about saying something in the store is ugly, tacky, cheap looking, etc.

Rule # 5: People have to be able to understand what you are saying if you want to get a job dealing with customer relations like retail. Actual phone conversation:

 Me: “Thank you for calling Giggles”

  Person: “Yah Hirum”

 Me: “I’m sorry?”

  Person: “Es sayeses Are yah hi-es-rum?”

 Me: pause to think….”Oh … No… not at the     moment. Thank You”
  Person: to someone in the background before hanging up… “Isa telles ya deese ain’t ??????? timez ??? monez ??? something something..CLICK”

Rule # 6: Just because this is a baby store does not mean it will be a day care for you’re baby while you work here. This may or may not have been the assumption this girl had when applying here, but if you bring your baby out job hunting, then chances are people are going to question where the baby will be when you’re supposed to be working.

Rule # 7: Do Not rush into the store asking to use the restroom then blow it up with whatever crawled up and died in you and then proceed to ask about job opportunities. Better yet, how about never blowing up my bathroom ever. I get the great pleasure of smelling baby shit all damn day, the last thing I want is for some stanky green fog to start filling up the back end of the store because you ate some cheap Mexican for lunch.

Rule # 8: After being told there are no job openings, please do not proceed to ask me how much I make an hour or how often I work. I’m embarrassed enough about my lack of contribution to my family. I don’t need to tell you about it (not that I would) just so you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.

Rule # 9: Don’t job hunt high or drunk. I can’t actually say that this really happened because I didn’t give a drug test or a breathalyzer, but this lady was definitely on something because me saying “We not at the moment” is not the least bit funny and I checked, there was nothing hanging from my nose or in my teeth or anything. I’d also like to note that if you smoke immediately before going into a store than YOU STINK. The smoke carries on. If you have to smoke, take a minute or so to walk it off so that you’re not bringing it into the store with you. Children come here; I’d hate to think they’re getting second hand smoke from you simply walking in.

Rule # 10: Get off your cell phone! This doesn’t necessarily only apply to those who are asking for a job. If you are entering a small space, please end your call outside before entering. I will smile and acknowledge you but I will not speak to you because you are rude and I’d hate to be rude like you and interrupt your phone call. Worst, don’t say, “Hold on” into the phone then look at me and ask me a question. Even worst, don’t ask if we’re hiring because you are rude and we don’t hire rude people!

That is my top ten for now. I’m sure I’ll have more to add to it at some point because Giggles seems to be a magnet for applicants. Because of this, I am beginning to understand why the job rate is where it is. I guess I should be happy I'm not on the hunt, but who knows what the future holds.

If it's gonna happen sometime...

then why not now?