Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Goin' to Jackson

"I'm goin' to Jackson, I'm gonna mess around, Yeah I'm goin' to Jackson, Look out Jackson town."



I know this isn't the Jackson that Johnny and June were talking about, but we're out here anyway so Jackson better watch out.

We left our house in Tennesee at 7am on July 18th and didn't rest til 1am when we made it to Colby, KS (Mapquest: 14 Hr. 38 Min. 936.66 Miles). We did have a quick pit stop in St. Charles, Mo. to grab lunch with Brian and Terry Schreiber. After a 6-hour-nights sleep, we were at it again. This time stopping at our buddies  John and Jessica Mortons' place in Carbondale, Co. We made it by 8pm (Mapquest: 6 Hr. 21 Min. 401.11 Miles). After a great dinner, a false pregnancy scare from the stress of the haul, and 7 1/2-hour-nights sleep, we met John for breakfast and were on our way to Jackson. We arrived around 8pm on July 20th (Mapquest: 8 Hr. 41 Min. 477.55 miles).

Keep in mind that we only traveled at a average speed of 60 mph. Because my car (Volvo XC90) was towing Wes' car (Landrover Defender90).

Our New Home for the next 18 months:









Then the hall way takes you to the guest bath on the right, my sewing/craft room on the left, and straight forward to the guest bed where all the people who love me will stay when they visit. (Pressure & guilt trip intentionally intended!)





Then in the far corner of the house is our Master Bedroom and Master Bathroom. Our home very much reminds me of our home in Nashville before we did any renovations on it. (Funny how we get our house to be perfect for us, then we move across the country.)


The backyard, like our Nashville home, is amazing. It's nice to finally have a fenced in yard for the pups to play in and you definitely can't beat the view of Snow King Mountain. We're ready for bon fires and grilling for sure. We just need to make sure to get it in before winter hits.
















We have a view of the Tetons from our front yard and and view of Snow King from the back. Everything we need in town is within walking distance or a short bike ride. This town is amazing. The only downfall is that Wes is here to work and not play with me. That's where you come in. Start planning your visits now because there's lots to do; it's just not so much fun to do alone.


So what are you waiting for? You've got free room and board waiting for you here with us. No more excuses- Pay us a visit since as I'm sure you know by now...


If it's gonna happen sometime...
     Then why not now?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Last HOORAHS


We are moving. If you don’t know this already, then this is definitely your first time tuning in to me. Beginning July 17th Wes and I are becoming Wyomingites!

Including this week, we have been cramming everything in the last three weeks. We found a home...

I traded in my beloved but completely unpractical convertible for an AWD Crossover that's more realistic for a place that only has a three month summer...
My brother and sister-in-law (Wes' brother) came for a quick visit knowing that we were running out of time to see them...
We took in two shows last week...

Steve Miller Band 


& U2

But definitely the best part of this crazy fast move was this past weekend. First you need a little of the back story. Our good friend Patrick turned 30 this year. He made it his mission that night to drink 1 of each of the beers that our favorite bar has on draft. He did well making it almost half way. Keep in mind he was also doing many, many, many birthday shots. 


So it has been penciled in that before we leave, Wes and Patrick, together, will once again attempt to tackle half the draft list at Brewhouse 100. 
This weekend was perfect for this event because of the four day weekend and the fact that Brewhouse has a drink special every Sunday that includes 2-4-1 drafts. So on Sunday around 4-ish, Amanda and I (along with her neighbor Maggie) dropped the boys at the bar while we got pedicures.

By the time our toesies were finished (about 5:15), Patrick was already 6 deep and Wes was 4.






By 6:00, there was a definite need for food.

By 7:00, Wes allowed Amanda to draw on his 1st tattoo and another 10-15 min. later tattoo 2 and 3 were added.
By 9:45, Wes' beer drinking ability has halted after impressively slamming his 13th beer.

9:50- Wes is having a starring contest with beer #14 and yelling "I'm only 150lbs. to anyone giving him a hard time about not finishing it".

By 10:00, I'm begining to prep Wes for leaving. At 10:45, after many failed attempts to rally, we strap ourselves in the car, only to go back into the bar because Wes has to pee.

We finally hit the road around 11:00, where Wes makes a very impressive call to his step dad and surprisingly sounds somewhat sober.

Around 11:10 I get a great idea to start recording Wes.

Now, for those of you who have not been lucky enough to be around drunk Wes...I feel sorry for you. Sober Wes is amazing, but drunk Wes is absolutely hilarious. He doesn't come out much, in-fact the older we get, the more rare of an occasion it is. Wes was in prime form this night. Keep in mind that this was taped in the car so the picture is not good so just turn up the volume and enjoy...



We are getting older and more and more our friends and family are becoming or trying to become part of the preggars community, so drunk Wes sightings are becoming that of legend, but you never know because after all...


It's gonna happen sometime...
     Then why not now?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Return of the Crazy Old Man

I'm afraid this old man is never going to stop appearing in the Women's Only section of the Y; and because I'm not that great of a writer I've video what he does so that you can maybe get a real picture of the craziness that comes from him. He isn't like a feeble old man, maybe in his mid 60's or something and looks seriously close to an actor I can't think of the name or where I've seen him, but he's bald on top with brown hair on the sides and back and I think he plays a police man or a police chief or something. Anyway, here it is...




I know i've forgotten some other things he does. I tried to rush home fast so I wouldn't forget, but it didn't help. The thrusting has to be the creepiest, especially since he's in the women's area surrounded by a bunch of girls. Oh I just remembered, he also does his thrusting while laying down on him back on a towel and makes noises along with it. I hope soon he realizes there's an area for him or that someone tells him. I just know it won't be me because I don't think I can even look at him straight without laughing. Until then I guess he'll just be spastically waving his arms and pelvis around like a crazy person. Hopefully, I'll be able to change my workout schedule to avoid him.

If it's gonna happen sometime...
     then why not now?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Generations of Crazy


You know how when you see someone related to you act like a crazy person and you whisper to the person your with, “If I ever act like that please tell me” or “If you see me start turning into that person, you better let me know”, well my advise to that person who hears it is to say “NO! I WILL NOT TELL YOU”. Because lets face it, if you’re smart you never will.

Think about it. All the cases where another person acts or does something they don’t want to is always an emotional time and is never a key time to say, “remember that time when you told me to tell you that you are starting to act like your sister or turn into your mother”. If you take anything away from this post let it be this: Saying so will hurt feelings.

If you are stupid enough to bring that up during the time that technically you should, then definitely be prepared to suffer the consequences. There is no nice way to tell someone they’re acting like a crazy person.

We all must come to terms with the fact that sooner or later we will turn into the people we don’t want to and/or act like those around us including those crazy people we love unconditionally. After all, the apple never falls far from the tree.

If it’s gonna happen sometime,
     then why not now?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Gym Etiquette

New year-new resolutions! I’m not foreign to this concept. I, like the rest of the world make resolutions that are more than likely not going to be kept. My biggest pet peeve…the weight loss aficionados’ who make the gym a crazy, no parking space available, gossip central, always in my way, almost waist of time venue. So to make the gym a place for both the regulars (like me) and the new resolutioners I’ve comprised a few ground rules.

1) Don’t violate the universal dress code.
1a) Men: if you can see the middle section of your thigh or higher…your shorts are too short. No one want to see your package (this also applies to men in spandex)
1b) Women: if you can see your ass cheeks or are afraid of your labia coming out for a wave during squats…your shorts are too short.
1c) The gym is not a red carpet so no need for enough make up for a clown, a padded strapless bra underneath your sports bra (your not fooling anyone), or enough hair spray it makes you a fire hazard.
1d) Wear appropriate footwear. Baggy sweatpants accompanied by unlaced doc martins may be your “signature style” but it makes you look like a douche.
1e) No one, I repeat NO ONE looks good in homemade cut off tank tops with holes so large your nipples can be seen.

2) The bicycle is there to be used for cardio not to be sat on in order to catch up on your TV.

3) It’s not about how fast you can do your workout. If you’re pumping out reps 90 miles to nothing than you’re doing something wrong. Do yourself a favor and get a personal trainer for just a little while to show you the proper way to work out.

4) The gym is not your social hour. Stop taking up machines that other people are waiting for because you want to catch up on the water cooler conversation.

5) Don’t talk to people in the middle of sets. I’m not here to make friends… I’m here to try not to get too fat so obviously it’s not a good time to strike up a convo when I have a 30lb. medicine ball lifted over my head.

6) Don’t hog all the equipment. You are not the only person there. Yesterday, I went to the small women’s area we have to find a woman who took a bench (we only have 2 in the area), a mat (there are only 3), 3 sets of weights, an ab ball (only 3 available), and a medicine ball (only have 1 per each weight).  You can not be using all of that at once so grab what you need when your using it and return it when your not. It's called sharing...they teach us this in pre-school. The entire time that woman was there she used the bench to hold her weights and nothing else.

7) Spray equipment down after you use it. It’s so simple! There is a bottle of disinfectant and a cloth at each station, machine, cardio equipment, and area in the gym so there’s not excuse not to wipe up after yourself.

8) If you are going to sweat like a maniac, please take advantage of the free towels offered at the gym and seriously consider bring extra deodorant with you. I had the longest 30 min. of my life when a large sweaty man decided to use the elliptical next to me.
8a) Don’t use the fact that you are going to shower after your workout as an excuse to show up as a stinky, greasy mess getting your nasty funk everywhere.

9) Don’t camp out on the machines. I get that not everyone is on the same schedule as me, but if you are spending 10 minutes in between each rep, please get off and let others work into your sets and don’t think it’s rude if someone asks to work in. It’s not like your ass is going to get smaller just be sitting on the machine.

10) Taking #9 into account- Don’t hover you crazy stalker. I get it; you’re waiting on me to get finished. I have 10 reps; I’ll be done in 30 sec. at most so PLEASE STOP BREATHING DOWN MY NECK!

11) There is no need to be that noisy. If you are grunting and moaning so loud it’s orgasmic- you’re doing something wrong…or completely right and I may be jealous but either way it’s inappropriate for the gym.

12) There is never any reason what so ever to be talking on your cell phone while working out. I don’t care if you feel like you need to prove to friends and family that you’re actually working out by calling everyone you know while on the Precor. As far as I’m concerned the only reason to even have your phone at the gym is if you also use it as your IPOD other wise leave it in your car or lock it in a locker.
12a) There is absolutely NO excuse to have your phone visible in the locker room. With all the nuts out there and with every phone having a camera, it just makes people uncomfortable while changing.

13) Locker room etiquette is simple. Get in- get out. There is no reason to prance about naked for any longer than needed. Towels are there for out of shower use. It is never a pretty picture to see naked people with one leg hiked on the bench applying lotion. News flash…you can still apply lotion to legs while wearing underwear and then no one need to see you business.

14) Bring a re-usable water bottle. In this day and age with the green wave spreading like wild fire, buy a water bottle to fill up instead of filling up the world with plastic bottles.
14a) Plan your water bottle fill up accordingly. Do not fill you gallon size water bottle while 4 people are waiting in line behind. First of all…no one needs to carry that much water around at the gym anyway. If you want the extra weight, get yourself a weighted vest. Secondly, if you possibly drink that much water in the hour to hour and a half you’re working out, then you’re probably wasting half that time running to the bathroom which is not keeping your heart rate up to where it needs to be.

15) Don’t show up late to classes if you’ve never been to it before. I know that sometimes you run late but if it’s your first time joining and your 10 min. late, then considered taking it another time. It's so annoying to the regulars to have a new comer show up late and get in everyone’s way trying to get equipment at the same time as demanding all the attention of the instructor by getting her to explain everything over again just for you.

I’m sure I have forgotten some things, but this is a general guideline to all new and old gym members out there. Of course, if you are lucky enough to have a home gym than you can ignore most of the points and be as nasty and rude as you want.

Happy weight loss or weight gain for all you new and old gym goers. Hopefully these points will make it a nice experience for all. May we all get closer to what we want to look like in this New Year!

If it’s gonna happen sometime…
     then why not now?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Crimes Against Cam


Here’s the deal and after this I hope I’ll be able to keep my mouth shut- No promises. There’s a lot of allegations against Cam; there’s no denying it, but he’s Auburn’s most known player and as a die hard Tiger fan I have issues with what is being said. Notice I say ‘known player’- not star player, key player, main player, core player, central player, etc. etc. We are a team excelling with Cam not a team centered around him. You can’t refute the attributes and skills of Fairly, Blake, Zachery, Adams, Mosley, Pugh, Berry, Green, Isom, Ziemba, Fannin, McCalebb, Dyer, Winter, and even occasionally Burns. Cam’s Superman-esk attributes just overshadow them because Auburn never has had a decent QB in the years I’ve known. I know, I know Jason Campbell (*ROBOT* enough said). That being said once again, WE ARE NOT A ONE MAN TEAM however, there is also no denying that Cam has lit a fire under the ass of the rest of our players and has really pulled our team together.

However, my main point of this are the crimes against Cam. You say he already stole a laptop, well I read in an article that he bought it from someone after seeing it posted for sale on a bulletin board around campus. Who’s to say the article I read is wrong, and the one you refer to is right. The media only likes to talk about sins not tragedies. Do you ask for a point-of-purchase receipt every time you’ve bought things from friends, newspapers, craigslist, whatever. I doubt it. Pawnshops buy stolen items all the time by accident.

You say he cheated in school at Florida; I say I want to meet the Mother Theresa’s out there who have never snuck a peak at a neighbors’ answers, plagiarized a little in a paper without documenting, wrote names/dates on your body before a test, snuck formulas into a math/chem. test, shared answers on a take home quiz, any many more. Cheating’s bad. I get that and one day I’ll tell my children that cheaters never prosper just like mine told me, but I won’t be able to tell them that I’ve never done it. Hell, I made up an entire college complete with a fake professor who I had a phone interview with somewhere in California for my 9th grade Science Fair Project.  All because I didn’t want to do it, and I had to have a bibliography that cited more than just the internet. I did this the night before it was due, actually won 3rd place, and had to go on to the county fair.

You say bullshit-he knew what his father was doing. I wonder, do you know what your parents do all the time. Have they ever told or asked you to do something without telling you the reasons behind it. Are you still living in the same town as your parents? Is it because you want to or because they want you to be close?  Have you wanted them to approve of who you’re dating enough to not be with someone they didn’t like, even if they had no reason to your knowledge to dislike them?  If you’re like me, then you can’t control what your parents do anymore then they can ultimately control what you do. I can honestly say that there’s been many times in my life that my parents have manipulated me into doing what they thought best without me knowing what was in it for them. Let’s say, hypothetically, Cecil accepted money and needed to persuade Cam to go to Auburn…is it really a hard choice. I mean seriously, if any decent player had the option to go to Auburn or Mississippi State-Who would choose Mississippi State? The last time they were even conference champions was 1941. The reason he chose Auburn was a no brainer, even for non-tiger fans.

I’m not saying that pay for play isn't bad. It’s deceitful and corrupt. I know this. That being said, it happens and no one can stop it. We can set stronger boundaries and fear in people, but they will find a way to make it happen. All we can look at are the facts. Here they are: The financial records have been given to the NCAA and there’s no record of Auburn giving any money, nor is there record of Cecil receiving money in any of his personal accounts or church accounts that he manages. If there were, not only would Cam be ineligible, but also Auburn University would not be bowl eligible. Look at USC.  The same year that Auburn went undefeated and got screwed out of the championship game, USC proved to have paid for play including one of their key players; Reggie Bush was proved to have received promotions from additional USC alumni. We didn’t hear as much about that as we’re hearing about Cam though. I wish people weren’t greedy and would be happy with the scholarships they’ve received instead of needing pay for play, but it’s not the case sometimes.

You say, "well if he’s so innocent than why isn’t he loud about defending himself?" I’d like to say if it were me, I’d be pissed and lawyered up, suing for slander and defamation of character and whatever else I could.  But the truth is, if you’re a representative of a university, like Cam is with Auburn, then you have to worry about the schools' reputation, not just yours. I once got Saturday suspension in middle school for getting in a fight after a football game when not on school property. However, because I was wearing my cheerleading uniform, I was representing the school...hence the suspension. The fact is that Auburn has had a media lockdown on Cam for a while now, so even if he wanted to he can’t. His career and education are also on the line here, so it’s better for him to keep his mouth shut and let it pass (soon hopefully) then to keep fueling it with denial.

I know this is a whole lot of defense for Cam, but I’m an Auburn Tiger and so is he. I will defend my school, my team, my players until it’s proved otherwise. I’m sure many of you wonder and NO, if he wasn’t a Tiger, I wouldn’t care so much; but answer me this: If he was on your team, would you be as angry about him being proven eligible as you are?

On a side note:
Rivalries go strong-I know this, but Alabama you really proved your lack of class last weekend. The disc jockey (Jason Adiman 2008 Alabama Alumni) played Steve Miller Bands’ “Take the Money and Run” and Springfield’s’ “Son of a Preacher Man” over the Bryant-Denny Stadium sound system as Auburn entered the field. Alabama fans created and were selling crimson t-shirts with “$cam Newton” and “War $cam Newton”.  The Alabama student section threw wads of dollar bills featuring his mug shot at Cam as he left the field following a pregame walk through. I’d hope that Auburn fans would never stoop that low. We may all be in Alabama, but location does not constitute for the amount of or lack of class you possess.

Stay confident, stay loyal, and stay classy Tigers. We’re unofficial 2004 National Champions but will soon be official 2010 NATIONAL CHAMPTIONS!!! I believe in Auburn and LOVE IT!

Track ‘em Tigers,
Just like a Beagle.
Give ‘em Hell you
WAR DAMN EAGLES!

If it’s gonna happen sometime…
            Then why not now!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thanksgiving with the Company

I understand why companies do Thanksgiving potluck lunches around the holidays. It provides a sense of community within the work place. Like saying “we’re not just ‘The Man’ we’re also your family”. Here’s where my problem with these potlucks comes in. Wes works in a mainly male environment for an average of 60-65 hours a week on salary and you are frowned upon bringing anything store bought; so who do you think ends up making the items our boys bring in? You’ve guessed it…ME, or everyone’s significant other.

The best part is: Wes signed me up for things he thinks I’m good at. Great idea in theory, but the reason some things I make are so good is because they take a lot of effort and I only make them when I’m in a cooking kind of mode. My corn bread has real corn in it that I cut off the cob and two kinds of cornmeal..blah blah blah.

I did not marry to be a stay at home wife who prepares fresh baked goods and meet my boy at the door with a beer. True I’d never expect Wes to actually make his own food to bring, but that’s because he works so much longer and harder than I do. True I’ve been complaining about my job since day one of this blog, but I am also in limbo in what I want to change into. So since I have retired from running (because of my lack of enthusiasm for the sport and my torn meniscus) and have time off and apparently Wes is proud of what I can make sometimes- I took on the task today.

I made cornbread and a chocolate pumpkin bunt cake. Then I decided that at least Wes could do was do the dishes so I stopped. Not so much of a punishment since I clean as I go so all he had to clean was the cake pan and the cornbread mold. I did wipe down the countertop but I had help with the floor since Kahlua was a constant mop with everything I dropped.

My main point is if companies want to gather the troops for a family style lunch to celebrate the holiday, why don’t they just cater it in and not put the wives (who don’t actually get to eat it) to work. Just a suggestion.

If it’s gonna happen sometime,
            Then why not now!