The Day Our Whole World Changed

March 26th- 36 weeks 6 days pregnant

5:30pm
      Begin to get ready for St. John's Annual Spring fling benefit. Shower, Shave, Hair, Make-up and heels (for first time in months).

7:00pm

      Arrive at Jackson Lake Lodge to begin the evening's shindig. Begin with cocktail hour.

8:00pm
      Seated and dinner is served. Haven't eaten all day so STARVING. Slightly pissed at Wes for not feeding me (cause it's always his fault and all).

8:30pm
      Band begins. People begin to either dance or leave.

9:00pm
      Phillip and Kristen join our table.

9:05pm
      Table wine is running low.

9:15pm
      I begin to go to the abandoned tables to collect leftover wine bottles. I figure if I have to be sober, the least I can do is entertain myself by getting everyone else sloshed. No glass left unfilled policy! 

10:00pm

      Master plan is working! (Wayne's World Moment)

10:30pm
      Finally got Wes drunk enough to begin dancing.

11:30pm
      Music's still going but crowd is starting to dwindle. Dancing shoes are really getting broken in now.

March 27th- 37 weeks pregnant

12:00am

      Wes is starting to get a second wind, I'm starting to try to pack it up.

12:30am
      Get in car to drive the 40 min. back to the house. I begin to have a feeling in my belly.

1:15am
      Finally back at home. Get in bed but contractions are too annoying to really sleep. I assume they're just braxton hicks. Wes' drunk ass is passed out.

3:00am
      Google 'How Do You Know If You're Really in Labor'. It says if you can walk it off then the contraction is probably a braxton hicks and not real labor. Stupid me, convincing myself that this is not happening just walked up and down the hallway until they stopped. Anyone can tell you if you walk long enough any contraction will stop.

4:00am
      Doing a lot of walking.

5:00am
      Start feeling like I need to go to the bathroom so in between walking the hallway, keep stopping by the toilet to use it. Sometimes I do and others I don't.

6:00am
      Begin to realize that this could actually be real. 

6:25am
      Go back into the bedroom to get my phone to start timing the contractions with an app I have. As I begin to reach over to grab it I feel a weird sensation in my belly and run to the bathroom as liquid starts dripping down m legs. Make it to the toilet in time for most to get in the bowl and not make a mess.

6:30am
      Wake up Wes and say,"I think my water just broke". Wes' first mistake- "Are you sure?" "Well either I just peed on myself or my water just broke". In his still drunken state he looks at me dazed. So I call my Mom and wake her up for help to find out if my water broke or not. She's in a sleeping state so not much help. Call the hospital and explain I'm not sure what's happening.

6:40am
      Make Wes get up and start getting ready for the hospital. Change clothes, brush teeth, get in car.

7:00am
      Make it to the hospital and get settled into triage room. Quickly get annoyed with Wes. Hot as hell. Ask repeatedly to turn the air down. Wes' second mistake- grabs my gown and tries to flap it to cool me off. My first time remembering being a bitch- I slap his hand away. After I swat him away he grabs a pillow to fan me with (much better option).

7:10am
      Getting really annoyed with Nurse and the stupid monitors they put on me. I'm going to a natural childbirth and begin to think I'm not going to be able to do it.

7:15am
      Keep escaping to the bathroom to be alone, plus I still feel like I need to use the bathroom.

7:25am
      Nurse comes in to check to see how far dilated I am. (Dr. still not there)6cm. Time to move to the LDR. Rest along the way because of apparently my legs don't work during contractions.

7:45am
      Nurses try unsuccessfully to get an IV in 3 different occasions.

8:00am
      On the floor to the side of the bed while nurses mess with the IV. It feels best to be on hands and knees. Really feel like if I could just poop I'd feel so much better. At this point I've lost my sense of embarrassment of poop so thinking about trying.

8:03am
      Decide these people have seen poop before so go for it. Fluid rushes all around me and I realize that maybe I should have told someone about my decision to poop. Look between my legs and see a purple balloon and scream, "What is that". Wes' third mistake- while at my head, lifts up my gown to check (like he's a doctor or something. What the hell is a drunk husband going to know about it?) My second time remembering being a bitch-"Don't look at me"

8:04am
      Nurse runs over from the other side of bed (Still no Doctor). "We got a head here", she says. Still on hands and knees on the floor beside the bed.

8:05am
      Already pushing again without knowing it and the rest of him arrives. Wes, "It's a boy". I'm screaming "Is it ok, wait it's a boy?" I think he hit the floor because I felt all alone, but thankfully the nurse caught him. Wes had to tip toe through the nasty mess I made on the floor to cut the umbilical cord. I didn't get to see it cause of course I'm on my hands and knees still and all the action is behind me.

Grafton Collings Schreiber

6lbs. 1oz

8:05am

Born the way a horse is.

We weren't prepared. We didn't have a hospital bag packed, the car seat was not installed, didn't think to bring a camera, and I spent the six hours before his birth trying to get his daddy drunk for my entertainment. At least I shaved my legs because of the Spring Fling. We were blessed. 24 hours made the difference of him not being premature. Besides some tearing, there were no complications during labor. The doctor finally arrived 15 minutes after he was born to remove the placenta and sew me up. I was not a happy pregnant person, so I'll never complain about him being early since he was healthy. And so it is...

If it's gonna happen sometime,

      Then why not now?

Contaminated Water

It started with one of our best friends Patrick and Amanda.

Baby Reed Allen Broughton- Born February 29th at 7:19. 

10lbs, 1oz, 22 inches.

Next, was Wes's brother Matt and his wife Danielle.

Baby Brianna June Schreiber- born March 12th at 11:52.

8lbs, 6oz, 21inches.

Then, on March 14th Whitney announces to Facebook that her and Maurizio are expecting as well.

Baby Iris Alba Ferrarese will be arriving this July or earlier because apparently Whitney is having a super tall baby cause they keep moving her due date all around.




Well, I guess Wes and I have been hiding under a rock long enough or more like in a hole- Jackson Hole. This may come as no surprise, but we are expecting as well. In effort for Whit and I to drive Mom completely crazy, the fates aligned and I am due June 17th, exactly two weeks apart. Because I'm out in Jackson with an altitude of 6200ft. My Dr. says I'll probably have a small baby and definitely be later than the predicted due date. This makes the gap even closer. At least they just added a direct flight from Jackson to Houston, helping Mom cope a little better.


Meet the future baby Schreiber. No, we don't know what it is and no, we're not finding out. Both Wes and I know that there are very few surprises left in life. All I know is that this sucker won't stop moving and punching me.

Well you know us, never ones to miss out on the party. It must have been something in the water. It'll be a Jackson born baby (one of only 400 in a year), but soon enough we'll all be back in the south east to raise it with the best. No matter how prepared you may feel for something like this, it still scares the crap out me. But as I always say-

If it's gonna happen sometime...

     Then why not now?

Just for fun:

How NOT to Be a Good House Guest

This past weekend Wes and I traveled to Carbondale, Co. (outside Aspen) to visit friends and go skiing on a new and different mountainside. We've stayed with John and Jessica before and they let us bring our pups with us which is super convenient and their pups get along well with ours so they play constantly, but this time Kris and Terrin were also coming so it was a full house. They are lucky enough to be renting an amazing place while they're on site so there was plenty of room for all of us. I like to think that Wes and I are pretty low key guest and we always pick up after ourselves and try to be almost invisible leaving the place exactly, if not better than how we found it. This trip, however was not that case.

We both took off Friday because it's an 8 hour drive to their house. By the time we got into town they were still skiing so we unloaded our car and set up Kahlua's kennel to put her in but left Duke out cause he's 11 and awesome so no need to worry about him. Wrong. We went to grab some dog food from Petco cause it's like $20 cheaper than any dog food here in Jackson. By the time we got back, Duke decided he wanted to throw up his breakfast (from 10 hours before) all over their carpet. So Wes cleaned it up. To add to it, their dog Gracie decided she wanted Wes to pick up after her too. So she took a crap next to the throw up pile. It all came up easy, but believe it or not that wasn't the biggest thing to happened this weekend.

Wes, deciding to ignore all my previous warnings since the day we met, as well as the completely empty trashcan with trash bag next to the toilet, flushed the paper towels he used DOWN THE TOILET! He used like half a roll of paper towels and thought because he flushed only 3-4 at a time that he was ok. Once again- WRONG.

Neither one of us knew anything was wrong until the next morning. I went to use the bathroom and realized it wouldn't flush so I told Wes. They were leaving early to go skiing so he quickly began to plunge it. After working on it a while he came and told me, a half asleep girl, that he couldn't fix it but would work on it later. When I got up an hour or so later to take a shower and go out with the girls I noticed that not only was it not even remotely fixed, but Wes left the plunger in the toilet and the water had somewhat overflowed. Afraid to try to flush it I disgustingly scooped out water and put in the tub to drain and cleaned up the overflow. I then took a shower and noticed that the water in the tub didn't drain well either but didn't think much of it. I just showered fast and went on.

Jessica, Terrin and I went to Aspen for the day while the boys skied and I didn't tell either of them because I didn't think anything of it cause the water wasn't still running or anything and I didn't want to embarrass Wes. Plus, what was the worst that could happen. I figured he'd just have to snake the drain later and all would be well. Again--WRONG.

We got back to the house around 6pm to find that not only had the toilet overflowed, but it flooded the bathroom (which is a Jack & Jill style) leaking into both adjoining bedrooms and down through the speakers in the main floor into the master bedroom. It was a steady flow of water leaking downstairs. Immediately, I called Wes to get his ass home NOW!

When the boys finally got there, we had the water turned off and already used every towel in the joint to try to soak up water. Wes got on a ladder and took the speaker out of the ceiling releasing tons of water. There was over 1/4th inch of water sitting on the ceiling dry wall on top of all the other water that was already soaking the two floors. The boys (a little drunk from skiing and drinking all day) sprung into action. Thank GOD they work in the business. John was able to get his drywall guy to leave the bar and come check everything out. Oh i guess I forgot to mention this was St. Patty's day night. So Wes and John ran to get shop vacs and things from the job site and Terrin and I went to the grocery store to rent a rug doctor to try to soak up the water.

By the time the boys got back Kris had already used the rug doctor to get up over 4 gallons of water out of the carpet. Wes took the baseboard off and took back the carpet, we set up heaters and fans and opened all the windows just trying to dry it all out. John snaked the tub, finding all types of nasty thing (except paper towels) and again plunged the toilet and finally got it to flush and move the water along. What had happened is that the clog of paper towels created so much pressure that water from all three floors of the house came up through the wax ring on the toilet. So my shower, Terrin's shower, Jessica's shower, anyone's restroom trips, etc. was now breaking through the seal on the toilet and flooding the place.

Happy St. Patrick's day! After skiing and shopping all day, our plan was to clean up and go out to celebrate, instead we're on our hands and knees cleaning up pee and bath water. Thanks Wes. Now John and Jessica have to deal with the inconvenience of having their ceiling ripped out and re-drywalled. At least it won't cost them anything thanks to the business their in, but it's still a mess that no one wants to deal with. I seriously doubt their speaker will work again. We made it super clear (I hope) to send us the bill for anything out of pocket.

So that was it you'd think. Wrong. Of course Kahlua needs attention too. So this morning she decided to get in on the action. After playing with Jolie all morning she decided to take a break by walking right up to Kris and throwing up on his shoe and leg. What in the world. Our dogs do not do this. When we left around 1 today, I'm sure everyone was ready for it. Who knows what else could have happened if we stayed any longer. I've never been so embarrassed and pissed (at Wes)and completely helpless. Yeah, we can't control when our pups get upset stomachs but we are adults and can control what goes into the toilet. It was a nightmare.

So, who's ready for us to come and visit? After all-


If it's gonna happen sometime...
      Then why not now?