Turn Left; Go Straight No more!

Until now the only real car race I've ever seen had been Nascar. Boy was I missing out.


Our first week living in Jackson, the Teton County Fair was in town. Wes can't ride any fair rides because he gets sick so we stayed away from it at first. But then I got a craving for funnel cake. So on the last night of the fair, Wes and I rode our bikes down to it.


When we got there we saw a long line waiting to get into the rodeo arena. On the sign outside was an advertisement for the figure 8 race. Neither one of us knew what that was, but we saw a bunch of dumpy cars lined up to go into the arena so we figured it was a type of demolition derby. We were definitely up for some good ole' western redneck fun.


A figure 8 race is so much better than a demolition derby. In a demolition derby, it's just a chaos of cars running into each other to see who's the last one standing. In a figure 8 race, there are rules and regulations, but because the race track is in the shape of an 8 (hence the name) you get the highlight of crashes. Think about it...the best part of Nascar is the possibility of a crash. 

Gentlemen (and ladies) start your engines-

First let's go over the rules:

1)The Car: any small, front wheel drive 4-cylinder with wheelbase 104" or smaller is accepted. No Turbo engines, pick-ups of 4X4's. Welding is allowed on the driver's door only; welding anywhere else is immediate disqualification. Cars must be stock- no "strippers'. All chrome, fiberglass, die cast metals and glass must be completely removed and vacuumed out of inside of doors, passenger compartment and trunk. Driver's door must remain securely fastened at all times. Car must contain original, factory made, functioning lap and shoulder belt. NOTE: Seat belt grab or slack-adjusting ratchet MUST be removed or secured/blocked to prevent over tensioning of belt upon rear impact. All airbags Must be disconnected or removed. Bumpers must be original. No push bumpers. Cars must have numbers place on each side of car (at least 10" high), on the top and the deck lid. All four tires must be the same size and be at factory recommended air pressure. No antifreeze or additives – water only. Driver’s window net is mandatory. No holes are to be cut in roof – factory sunroofs only. Driver’s door must be fluorescent orange or green and the rest of the car must be a different color.

2)The winner is determined by the first car to cross the finish line after a pre-determined number of laps. Therefore, cars must remain in a forward motion EXCEPT if a bottleneck occurs at a corner. Reverse will be allowed to clear the corner only. Deliberate contact while in reverse will result in a disqualification.

3) Drivers must remain alert to signals by the Field Judges. A black flag is sign of Disqualification. A red flag is an Emergency Stop sign and All drivers Must stop until signaled to continue. A green flag indicates it is okay to go. A yellow flag means to slow down and no position changes.

4) You can get disqualified for the following: Leaking gas, hung-up on a berm, reckless driving, leaving the Figure “8”, sitting dead on the course, fire, and intentionally leaving the Figure “8” pattern so as to intentionally hit another car.

5)If a car is pushed into the berm, the race will be stopped and the car will go to the rear of the pack and the race will be restarted. Cars will be aligned bumper to bumper. A car will be eliminated after being pushed into the berm three times.

6)Drivers will complete 15 laps in the first races; drivers will complete 20 laps in the Winner’s Heat. 

Basically, you get the cheapest factory made car you can find and take everything out of it except the front seat and seat belt, weld the drivers side door shut, put up a net and you're good to drive as fast as you can in the shape of a 8 and hope your car still moves to get you through to the finals. You don't have to win the pre-lims cause they take the top three in each heat to finals. If you win the finals you get a whopping $13,000. (I'd take it)

Now off to the races...

 The first heats were the best because the cars came out fresh and not smashed in. Wes and I kept trying to pick the cars that we thought would win. They had eight heats before they went into the pre-lims then they had the final. Out of all 15 races that were held, neither one of us chose the correct winner even once.

By the 9th and 10 heats, the cars were pretty beat up and it was not uncommon to see the other cars giving some a nice, helpful push around corners to make the race go faster.

 To help with the dust factor, a water truck comes out and wets the track every seven-or-so races which helps entertain the crowd with lots of spin outs.

 The key player in this whole event was the backhoe driver. If the car becomes so stuck that even your pit crew can't push you out or if your car dies, this man steps into action to help you out. He was a very busy man all night. Although, most of the time if the driver was patient enough, someone would eventually loose control and ram into the back of you which in time would knock you loose and get you back in the race. This happened more often than not. 


The most entertaining car was the one that would never die. There was one that, I kid you not, was at one point running on rims and still found a way around the track each lap. Just when you thought he was down and out and stuck in the dirt, someone would loose control and ram him to put him back in the game. He somehow made it into the second round of the finals only to have his drivers door get hit and then it wouldn't stay closed, which disqualified him on the spot. As he drove out of the arena, holding his door shut by his arm, he got a standing ovation and round of applause. He was the crowd favorite for sure.

I think the beaters were the crowd favorites because you were always surprised at what they could accomplish. The cars that looked the best seemed to be the most dissappointing. Especially this car. He came out revving his engine, peeling out, with a brand new paint job, sponsors pasted all over and even a cross bar centered on his hood indicating he meant business, but he only made it through three races before he was down and out. Then you have these guys who have a custom paint jobs made from spray paint, no sponsors and barely a functioning car that fought for every inch they could get. It was insane.

 But their time too must come to an end. In a town completely centered are the green way of living, they sure did make a lot of scrap metal in the blink of an eye. And so it went: Step-By-Step, One-By-One, they all fall down like toy soldiers.

 The highlight of the night was definitely when one of the cars finally caught fire. I've never seen so many drunk people stand up (in unison) so fast. The race patrol jumped on that fire like white on rice before I could even get a clear, good picture. Still, from the smoke and people you can see what happened. And as fast as the fire began, it was out and the race was back on. Don't worry, no one was hurt.

So next year when you're sitting around hungover after July 4th and wondering what else you can accomplish before summer ends, remember that every year at the end of July in Jackson, WY. the fair comes to town and with it brings the chaos, thrill, and Western Redneck drunkenness of figure 8 racing. For just $50, you could even enter to try your luck at surviving the mayhem.

Just think that could be you one day. You never know? After all-


If it's gonna happen sometime...
    Then why not now?


Oh and I never did get my funnel cake fix...something else to look forward to enjoying next year!